Tales from WannaBea Farm

Joyce Stark Pistol packin’ mama

“C’mon Mama, you can shoot it. You shoot your .38 all the time and you’re good.” “Nope”, I answered, “I don’t want anything to do with that thing, it looks more like a cannon to me”.

My neighbors only came down to their little cabin on the river on long weekends and vacations and it always got really noisy when they were in residence as they always wanted to target practice. Living in the city, they naturally didn’t get much chance to shoot so they always looked forward to their times on the river and there was a perfect spot on the edge of the woods with a high embankment behind it. They had quite an arsenal and even loaded their own cartridges.

Joe had just bought a .45 Magnum and was dying to try it out. Everybody was taking turns firing it. Except me! No way. That thing was huge.

“Aw, Mama, you can do it”, my other son wheedled, “Just try it.”

Now I don’t know why they were so bent on me shooting that thing but they just kept nagging me.

“I can’t even hold the darn thing steady to aim it, so how am I going to even be able to hit the target? Besides that, it’ll probably knock me on my behind. Nope, I’m not going to shoot it.”

Now Joe’s cousin, a Catholic Priest, was visiting and he had also been doing some shooting. Having overheard me, he stepped up and volunteered to stand behind me so the gun wouldn’t knock me down. “You can do it and I won’t let you fall”, he promised. So I finally agreed.

“Okay, give it here.” And taking the gun I held it out in front of me, both arms shaking with the weight of this thing and the Priest standing behind me, ready to catch me, but probably not really expecting to have to.

I fired!

Both arms went back….. over my head……….right smack into the Priest’s face!

Bloodied his nose, busted his lips and blacked both his eyes.

Did I hit the target?

I don’t remember.

But I will never forget the day I pistol whipped a Priest!

And I’ve always wondered, “What did he tell his parishioners?”

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