Tales from WannaBea Farm

"You know" I heard Mr. Macho yell over the drone of the engine, "it might be better if you jumped first as I could probably get to you faster from the air if something went wrong for you".

"Oh no" Bob said, "You’re already in position. You jump first and then she will jump".

"No, it's no problem, we'll just switch seats. C'mon Honey, move over here." I tried arguing with him to no avail. Bob argued, the pilot argued, but he wouldn’t listen. He was determined.

So there we were with all that gear, like two whales in a canoe trying to change places. With much twisting, shoving and cursing we finally managed to change places.

And now it was time! The pilot cut the engine. Omigod, I'm gonna do it!

"C'mon", Bob urged, as he snapped the static line onto the handle of my rip cord, "grab the handle over the door with your left hand, step out onto the wheel and grab the wing strut with your right hand."

I grabbed the handle over the door, stepped out onto the wheel and reached for the wing strut........in vain. I did not have the height or the arm span to reach all three points at the same time.

"Take my hand", Bob yelled. So, holding onto his hand with my left I finally managed to grab the wing strut and pull myself up. Glancing back I saw Mr. Macho sitting motionless, with a frozen zombie look on his face. Looking down, the scariest thing was the wheel itself, as I could imagine myself hitting it face first. I had such a grip on that strut that my fingerprints are probably still imbedded in the metal thirty years later.

It's time. Bob tapped me on my thigh and yelled "Go'.

I said, "No"!

He hit me again. Harder. "Go".

"NO"!

"Oh crap", I heard him say, "Turn on the engine."

As the engine came on, Bob hit me again, hard, and yelled, "Go"!

"Nooooooooooooooooooo"!

And I was falling. I heard a pop and a whoosh as my pilot chute opened, pulling out the main chute and jerking me upright. I looked up and saw it opening and it was such a wonderful, awesome moment that all my fear just flew away. I had done it. I was floating in the air. It was so quiet and cool and beautiful. The earth below me looked like a jigsaw puzzle, the cars like tiny little insects and everything looked so clean. The silence was amazing. I had never in my life experienced such silence, as there were no cars, TV, dogs barking, birds singing or even insects chirping. Absolute, complete silence. I didn’t even hear the plane as he had immediately climbed when I finally and forcefully exited the plane.

I checked to make sure that my chute was opened properly and reached for the steering toggles. I couldn't reach them! They were about 6" above my fingertips!

….Be sure to read the conclusion of FIRST JUMP in next weeks Buffalo Press.

Mr. Wonderful, the love of my life, has been getting some remarks about this story so let me clarify this. Mr. Macho was long ago and far away.