Tales from Wannabea Farm

Joyce Stark I actually feel human today. So maybe I'll make it after all. I might even comb my hair. I looked in the mirror and scared myself to death. My poor dog doesn't understand what is going on as I haven't left the house in a week.

We have four new baby goats. Two sets of twins, one doeling and 3 little bucklings. Going out to feed I found one nanny was missing, and believe me those gluttons don’t want to miss a feeding. I was so miserable and it was so cold so I just said “Tough” and went back in the house, feeling sorry for myself. Back in the warm house I got to thinking about that nanny out there in that bitter cold kidding. Well crap, I got all bundled up and went looking for her. When I started back out Sheba was on the steps whining to come in, I let her in and she jumped up on me and ran back out. Now this dog knows NOT to jump on me so something is going on. She jumped up on me several times until I started out to the pasture then she took off to where the nanny was. Of course she was as far from the barn as she could get, down hill, under some brush. If I'd brought a gun I think I would have shot her. But no, then I would have to bottle feed the kids. I HAD brought the wagon though. And she had already cleaned them up and dried them. So I loaded them up and started back up the hill. And the &^%$#@ nanny kept trying to get in the wagon with them. The wagon was heavy enough. I could hardly breathe and couldn't turn the darn thing loose or it would roll back down the hill. I'd pull a while and sit a while. Omigosh that ground was cold! But it was all I could do. All the while thinking that we were going to have to buy a Mule or golf cart or something. Then as I was almost to the barn I noticed "Lil' Red", my lawnmower, just sitting there laughing at me. Not only does he have a matching trailer but the wagon that I was pulling would also connect to him. No wonder he was laughing at me. I felt like cutting his tires!!

Anyway, I finally got the kids and nanny bedded down in a stall and made it back into the house where I just collapsed. Needless to say I just got worse that night. Anybody want to buy some goats? Eight of them pregnant and due any day. I'm kind of scared to go feed today as there may be more kids.

Come on, sure you don't want to buy them? They're so cute! Like little four legged pogo sticks.

And then there were six..........I went to feed and lo & behold there were 2 more! Mama nanny had them right by the hay feeder and she was standing there eating hay. I picked up one kid and put it in the barn and went back for the other one. Stupid goat would not come with me, just kept bellowing for her kids. I was literally rubbing the kid on her face and she's still turning around in circles trying to find them. Finally I just took number 2 kid to the barn dumped it and came back to the nanny who's going nuts and drug her up to the barn (now this isn’t easy as she is as big as I am and has twice as many feet to brace her as I do). Both her kids were in there but as soon as she saw the feed trough she forgot all about them and me. She took off like a race horse for that (empty) feed trough, running completely over me. After managing to get to my feet I noticed that she had given up on the feed trough and finally found her babies. She should have been a pig instead of a goat.

Dear Lord, please wait until it warms up before sending any more.