Straight from The Horse’s Mouth

My younger son is a senior in high school and playing varsity football. He's a natural leader, a fantastic team player and an A-B student. We couldn't be more proud, though we're having a tough time handling the disappointment of the coach not giving him enough play time. Do I tell Chris that the coach is wrong, and the other players aren't as good as him? Do I tell him to quit because it isn't worth it? Or do I tell him that life isn't fair and we must all learn to deal with upset?

But I always thought life was fair. I thought you got what you needed, and the tough times were lessons to be learned. We have this brief span to live, and every day we're given the choice to rise above the rest, or wallow with the masses. I thought it was as simple as ABC.

So I had to figure out way to say this to Chris as he is frustrated over going to three specialized football camps last summer, giving 110% at practice every day, keeping his grades up and then watching other players on the field. As a mom, I am tempted to try to soothe him and keep him from this pain. Instead, I tell him that it's okay to be mad for a little while, but tomorrow he has to change his mind. I tell him that being upset for too long is the problem. Being in the emotional state of anger or sadness means we are not thinking clearly. It means we are acting against a peaceful heart. To be content is to be clear about our position, to recognize the wake-up call. I let him feel the sadness, sit with it for a few hours, then guide him to find the lesson, accept it with him, and hope we keep on growing and learning.

Right now he just wants to play. I tell him he is doing a great job, and that if he persists he might get a chance. In the long run he will be wise, having learned to deal with disappointment. He will be a more compassionate person, knowing how the coach's actions are affecting him. He will be fine. As I mentioned, he is a born leader. He has the ability to motivate his fellow players and the fans in the stands toward what's positive. Even though life isn't fair, we're blessed to be playing the game.

Here are some actions to take the next time we find ourselves in an upset. Focus on the positive, it's the ABC's of life. You can find a copy at THM.

Accept differences, Be kind, Count your blessings, Dream, Express thanks, Forgive, Give freely, Harm no one, Imagine more, Jettison anger, Keep confidences, Love truly, Master something, Nurture hope, Open your mind, Pack lightly, Quell rumors, Reciprocate, Seek wisdom, Touch hearts, Understand, Value truth, Win graciously, Xeriscape, Yearn for peace, Zealously support a worthy cause.